In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reason for this and how can it be solved?

#countries #people #health #reason

Nowadays, people in certain countries got

health issue

Suggestion

a health issue

because they prefer to live in unhealthy ways.

This

is clearly evident that unhealthy way was born because of furious of

life

rhythm

. When

time

is limited person has not

time

for everything, namely food, dream, sport

ect

a legal document codifying the result of deliberations of a committee or society or legislative body

act

However

, people can control everything if their get

motioand

the use of movements (especially of the hands) to communicate familiar or prearranged signals

motioned

mentioned

motion

wants to live till 100 years old. These day humans

chasing

pick out, select, or choose from a number of alternatives

choosing

a money due to their forget about own type of

life

. Money

have occupied

Suggestion

has occupied

humans

Suggestion

human

human's

brain,

consequence people

Accept comma addition

consequence, people

have not seen basic things like

health

rhythm

, relationship. When people have a limit

Suggestion

the

time

their

people in general

they

prefer do not cook at home,

instead

prefer to take away fast food. There

are

Suggestion

some trend that some people gaining relaxation from drinking alcohol every evening.

Moreover

these

(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result

thus

all aspects cause a problem with

health

where in some

case

Suggestion

cases

disease

Suggestion

the disease

can be uncontrollable. Despite all aspects of unhealthy

life

everyone have

time

to change type of

life

. All people who have crazy

rhythm

life

should reconsider and redo all the plans.

Firstly

, restrict all factors which destruct their

life

like unhealthy food, less physical work. People should interact with other people and be sociable, participate

Suggestion

cultural events where

their

in or at that place

there

can take more knowledge or something

significant

Suggestion

significantly

new. Sport have to be included without discussion, because sport

give

Suggestion

gives

capability

Suggestion

the capability

to manage own body.

Furthermore

, scientists

says

Suggestion

say

that sport stimulates to discipline. To conclude, all

health

problems

depends

Suggestion

depend

rhythm

Suggestion

the rhythm

life

However

, that dynamical

life

cause a lot of problems with

health

, but the person can manage own

time

and can divide

likewise

all issues can be disappear.

Submitted by issagali90 on Mon Sep 30 2019

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reason for this and how can it be solved?

Fully explain your ideas

number of arrests per year for using illegal drugs between 1991 to 2005

Many people say that universities should only be offered to young students with high marks,others say that they should accept people of all ages,even if they did not do well.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university , to work or to travel . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?