IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Write a letter to the manager of your local bus service. They have recently made some changes to the bus services which created inconveniences for you. In your letter, explain: •what are the changes •what are the problems you are facing •what part of the service would you like to change You get 20 minutes to complete this task.

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Dear Sir, I am writing to express my concerns regarding the recent changes made to our local bus service, which have caused considerable inconvenience to me and other commuters. The new schedule, which reduces the frequency of buses during peak hours, has significantly impacted my daily commute. Previously, buses ran every 10 minutes in the morning and evening rush hours, but now they arrive only every 20 minutes.
This
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 has led to overcrowded buses, extended waiting times, and increased frustration among passengers.
Moreover
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, the cancellation of certain routes, particularly Route [X], has left residents in my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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 with limited options for transportation. It has become increasingly challenging to reach [specific destination, e.g., the downtown area or the train station], especially during urgent situations. I kindly urge you to reconsider these changes. Restoring the frequent service during peak hours and reinstating the discontinued routes would greatly improve the convenience and efficiency of the service. Thank you for your attention to
this
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 matter. I look forward to hearing about possible improvements. Yours sincerely, Arman

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the specific problems faced due to the changes; providing examples or personal experiences can make your case stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear idea for better readability. You could separate the issues of the bus schedule and route cancellations into different paragraphs to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and closing, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for a formal letter to a service provider.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuter
  • inconvenience
  • reduced frequency
  • altered routes
  • travel time
  • miscommunication
  • transfers
  • public transport
  • passenger information
  • service improvements
What to do next:
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