IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #time #jobs #household #tasks #men
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world,
both
Use synonyms
 genders are struggling equally to accomplish their goals and dream which has changed traditional
household
Use synonyms
 practices, compared with the early days. Numerous individuals believe that with an occupied lifestyle,
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
household
Use synonyms
 tasks should be shared by
both
Use synonyms
 of the parties. I agree with the sharing works among the partners to spend happily married life. In the early days, men used to
work
Use synonyms
 while women spend time in the house doing
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. With the development of the world, the human need has been expanded due to the high availability of goods and services, which involves money and wealth. So nowadays
both
Use synonyms
 husband and wife doing jobs have become compulsory. Traditionally
household
Use synonyms
 tasks like cooking, washing garments, taking care of children were
women
Suggestion
women's
 tasks while men
work
Use synonyms
 for the there family but now it has changed completely. It is so unfair if the female has to
work
Use synonyms
household
Use synonyms
 tasks alone while working full time because working full time is extremely difficult. In modern-
day
Use synonyms
 many general populations believe that men and women shire there works when
both
Use synonyms
 are doing
jobs but
Accept comma addition
jobs, but
 some still
belives
accept as true; take to be true
believes
 women do all the works.
working
Suggestion
Working
 together is most essential to spend quality family life.
teem
Suggestion
Teem
work
Use synonyms
 will build up together working with each other.
Also
Linking Words
, it helps to
financial
Suggestion
finance
 development. In conclusion, it is important to share a working load between parties for the development of their children and family. If
both
Use synonyms
 party works are to make money, teamwork is import. So it is recommended to
work
Use synonyms
both
Use synonyms
 off together.
Submitted by sudharshanakdesilva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: