The dangers and complexities of modern world have made mobile phone an absolute neccessity forchildren. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#dangers #complexities #world #phone #neccessity #forchildren

In present scenario,

mobile

Suggestion

the mobile phone

phone

has become

Suggestion

integral part of human life. It has

also

been influenced the children to a greater extent, and people are considered it as a necessary device for them to tackle the complex and

danger

Suggestion

dangerous

situations.

However

, I don not agree with the aforementioned statement.

This

essay would aim to justify my viewpoint in the subsequent fragments. To commence with, children spend most of their time on mobile

phone

just to play games and surfing social network sites, which are

sheer wastage

Suggestion

a sheer waste

sheer waste

of their time, because childhood is the period to shape their lives.

Although

, mobiles are taken as a gadget in order to access information with the help of

internet

Suggestion

the internet

, but computers are available in the school libraries for them, where access to information is available just a click away.

In addition

this

, despite having

number

Suggestion

a number

of advantages, young age

can not

cannot

be considered as

Suggestion

appropriate use to own a

cellphone

Suggestion

cell phone

, as at

young age

Suggestion

a young age

, wards are not be able to judge the things, which are fruitful for them or not.

For instance

, children can be easily provoked by the porn websites and vulgar advertisements, which may put their energy and time in

wrong direction

Suggestion

the wrong direction

Besides

this

, by spending several hours on

internet

Suggestion

the internet

and playing games on

mobile

Suggestion

mobile phones

phone

, they may become addicted to it, which

further

effect

have an effect upon

affect

their health.

Therefore

, unnecessary use of mobile

phone

can make children vulnerable. In conclusion

Accept space

desite

regardless of, in defiance of

despite

having various advantages of

phone

, children may not be allowed by their parents to have their own mobiles, and there are various other ways to protect a child from the unusual situations.

Nevertheless

, parents should take the responsibility of their children by providing them secure environment.

Submitted by mdeep7535 on Tue Oct 01 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The dangers and complexities of modern world have made mobile phone an absolute neccessity forchildren. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education for the adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As well as making money, businesses also have responsibilities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?