IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Modern technology have made people less social over the years. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#technology #people #years
Whether the modern technology made the people more social or not has really become a matter of discussion among
masses
Suggestion
the masses
.I agree
with with
expresses the means used
with
 the statement that with modern technology people not spend the time with their family E and busy on their social networking sites.
This
 essay will shed light my
opinion which
Accept comma addition
opinion, which
 is in the favour of
statement
Suggestion
the statement
. To embark upon the reason
,
Accept space
,
firstly
, in contemporary Era, most of the people are busy in the social networking sites and they never spend time with their families.To be more precise people using their own phone while they are sitting on the dining table for eating meals. For
instant
Suggestion
an instant
, in
USA
Suggestion
the USA
 mostly the children deprived
from
Suggestion
of
 the love of their parents because they are usually busy in their own life
with
Suggestion
by
 using various social networking sites which leads to a negative impact
to
Suggestion
on
 the development of
child
Suggestion
the child
children
a child
.
Therefore due
Accept comma addition
Therefore, due
 to the advancement of Technology people become less social.
Secondly
, with the technology people refrain themselves to go outside to
contract
be in or establish communication with
contact
 with people. To be more specific, people are using email for the invitations like marriages, birthday party and any other celebration.
For example
, in
USA
Suggestion
the USA
,
Accept space
,
the school
has send
Suggestion
has sent
 all the message in the phone of the parents and
never socialize
Suggestion
never socializes
 and communicate with parents
face
 to
face
 which are
give
Suggestion
given
giving
 the birth to cause of concern.
hence
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
Hence
 people become less social By agglomerating, I would say that, in today's Era people are mostly used various social networking sites and a busy in their own work and they have no time with their family and communicate
face
 to
face
 conversation
.
Accept space
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: