IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Spending money on art is waste ,so invest on public sector, agree or disagree

#money #art #waste #sector
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Many countries have been spending a huge amount of money on entertainment
field
Change the noun form
fields
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such
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 as arts, music, and
dramma
Correct your spelling
drama
 since post -
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 era. Yet, there
remains
Change the verb form
remain
show examples
 some disagreements as to whether the
overall
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 output of
this
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 funding has been beneficial or
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this
Correct word choice
whether this
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 could be utilized for other areas of
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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: health, transportation, and education.
While
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 there are certainly valid arguments
on the contrary
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; I, personally think that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the fund can be better utilised for
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 pressing issues of the countries. First of all, it is
indisputable
Correct article usage
an indisputable
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 fact that public sectors,
for example
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, health, education, and transportation require urgent attention since these areas
directly
Add a missing verb
are directly
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 related to day to day life of
Correct article usage
the
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common man. Despite the benefits of
granding
Correct your spelling
raising
 funds for
entertainment
Add an article
the entertainment
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 industry- a basic advantage may be providing relaxation and soothing
effets
Correct your spelling
effects
- a
singnificant propotion
Correct your spelling
significant proportion
 of society would have deeply benefited
frrom
Correct your spelling
from
this
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. Those who live in
eonomically
Correct your spelling
economically
 deprived
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
moreover
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, value something which enhances their standard of living rather than any luxury.
Additionally
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, and even more importantly, investing funds
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these
publc
Correct your spelling
public
infra- stractures
Correct your spelling
infrastructures
 not only
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 positives to citizens but
also
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country
Add an article
the country
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 as a whole.
In other words
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,
Correct article usage
the developments
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developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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 of these would facilitate to
attract
Replace the word
attraction
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 well- known investors
as well as
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multi- national
Correct your spelling
multi-national
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 companies which eventually leads to economic empowerment of the nation.
By contrast
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, if focus
given
Add a missing verb
was given
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 to either arts or music, that would include only a fraction of the society, it would not
accelarate
Correct your spelling
accelerate
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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 total advancement.
Therefore
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, I contend that
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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invetments
Correct your spelling
investment
investments
 have generally
positives
Change the noun form
positive
show examples
 results. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that funding for
Correct article usage
the developments
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developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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 of
Add an article
the
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public structure
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 far reachable merits than supporting entertainment programs.
Submitted by Sal on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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