IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many societies, there is less social contact between the elderly and the young. What are the reasons and what measures can be taken?

#societies #contact #measures
In various communities, the
youth
 has reduced communication with their elders. Technology & lost family bonding are key reasons
to
Suggestion
for
this
 situation. The below essay will explain the causes and provide solutions like building strong family bond and reduce the usage of digital gadgets in our private spaces.
Although
, technology is a very important part of our lives, we should not compromise physical communication. The less we communicate with our family members, the more distant we get. As per recent government
statictics
a branch of applied mathematics concerned with the collection and interpretation of quantitative data and the use of probability theory to estimate population parameters
statistics
, over 90% of the
youth
 is always on their mobiles or any other digital gadgets. Today's
youth
 prefers playing
voilent
acting with or marked by or resulting from great force or energy or emotional intensity
violent
 games on their cell phone. These situations, has
agrreviated
made more severe or intense especially in law
aggravated
 their anger.
Hence
, resulting in
distance
Suggestion
a distance
 not only
between
Suggestion
among
 the children and
grandparents but
Accept comma addition
grandparents, but
also
 with their own parents. Not only children, even parents are busy on cell phones, being busy on various social networking sites. The parents are
on
Suggestion
to
 blame.
for
Suggestion
For
 the reduced emotional
boding
a close personal relationship that forms between people (as between husband and wife or parent and child)
bonding
.
For instance
, now-a-days, many people while eating food prefer checking
whats
Suggestion
what's
 up or adding pictures on
instagram
.
Hence
, to develop the family bonding and reduce the distance between the generations, there should be certain values inculcated and followed by all family members. Children should be restricted to use cell phones at all times.
Cell phone
Suggestion
The cell phone
A cell phone
 is for emergency
comminication
the discipline that studies the principles of transmitting information and the methods by which it is delivered (as print or radio or television etc.)
communications
 should be spread. Parents should develop values like respecting elders, helping in
kitchen
Suggestion
the kitchen
 and sharing their day to day activities done externally either at school, colleges and offices. In
this
 way, we can keep our family bonding intact. The bridge between the elders and
youth
 will never be lost.
For instance
, many
indian
a member of the race of people living in America when Europeans arrived
Indian
 joint
families yet
Accept comma addition
families, yet
 follow certain rules and regulations at homes like touching and taking blessings from elders, children share their thoughts and doings with their elders. To conclude, it has been clearly observed that technology has played an evil role in our societies, but
this
 can be reduced by developing certain rules and inculcating values
amoung
in the middle of
among
 our young generation.
Submitted by ishaghevde on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: