IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Eventually, technology will solve the most important environmental problems the world faces today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#minutes #topic #technology #world
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Technology
 is attaining greater heights with each passing day. Humans are making advancements in
technology
 at a never seen rate. Though
technology
 has helped in making
environment sustainable
Accept comma addition
environment, sustainable
 in some aspects, it is widely seen that
use
Suggestion
the use
 of many technologies
have
Suggestion
has also had
had also had
also
 had a detrimental impact on the
environement
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
. It is possible that
technology
 can counter environmental
problems but
Accept comma addition
problems, but
 it is important to
use
 it that way. In many sectors,
technology
 is growing at the cost of the
environment
. The
avaition
the aggregation of a country's military aircraft
aviation
 industry
for example
:
Accept space
:
 the advancement in
technology
 has led to
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
super sonic
(of speed) greater than the speed of sound in a given medium (especially air)
supersonic
 planes. These planes have an adverse
affect
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
effect
 on the ozone layer. They create holes in the layer
thus
 allowing harmful UV rays to penetrate
in
Suggestion
into
 the
atmosphere thereby
Accept comma addition
atmosphere, thereby
 increasing the temperature as well making humans more prone to skin cancer.
Similarly wireless
Suggestion
Similarly, wireless
Similar wireless
Similar Similar wireless
technology
 has increased the
use
 of mobile phones and internet. The large towers used for
this
technology
 have proved to be precarious for birds. The magnetic
raditions
energy that is radiated or transmitted in the form of rays or waves or particles
radiations
radiation
traditions
 from these towers kills millions of birds each year or lead to premature laying of eggs.
Technology
Suggestion
The technology
A technology
 used for making cheap air conditioners have led to increase in their
use
Accept comma addition
use, thus
thus
 resulting in
surge
Suggestion
a surge
 of CFCs from them. CFCs are one of the primary
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 for
increase
Suggestion
the increase
an increase
 in global warming. The list of
technology
 having an adverse impact on
environment
Suggestion
the environment
is never ending
Suggestion
are never ending
 and at the same time heartbreaking. It can't be ignored that in some areas
technology
 has helped to curb environmental problems.
Scientist
Suggestion
The scientist
are coming
Suggestion
is coming
 up with newer
environment
 friendly fuels
such
 as CNG and hydrogen fuel. These fuels are considered cleaner and less
polution
make impure
polluting
pollution
 causing.
Similarly
Suggestion
Similar
technology
 has made possible to
use
 renewable energy like solar,
geo-thermal
of or relating to the heat in the interior of the earth
geothermal
 and nuclear more effectively in order to meet the ever growing demands. High level
technology
 is
also
 being used to clean the ocean beds. Tonnes of plastic is being recovered from these beds by using specialised machines which can tolerate high
ocenic
relating to or occurring or living in or frequenting the open ocean
oceanic
 current.
How so ever
Suggestion
Howsoever
 ironic it might
sound but
Accept comma addition
sound, but
 there is a need to
use
technology
 in a way that it can fight environmental problems, most of which have been created by
technology
 itself. If certain policies and laws to restrict
technology
 for
environmetal
of or relating to the external conditions or surroundings
environmental
 benefits are passed,
then
 indeed
technology
 can help a great deal in solving environmental problems.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental problems
  • technology
  • solve
  • reduce
  • pollution levels
  • renewable energy sources
  • waste management systems
  • sufficient
  • human behavior
  • consumption patterns
  • collaboration
  • policy-making
  • essential
What to do next:
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