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Writing Samples
Band 6

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individual and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#availability #entertainment #video #games #devices #society
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Today’s world has witnessed the dramatic period of growth of numerous types of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 on handheld appliances. While many people
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon can bring about several negative impacts on individuals and the whole
society
Use synonyms
, I tend
toward
Suggestion
to
 the opinion that it can be advantageous to some extent. On the one hand, there are 2 main reasons why it is believed that
entertainment
Use synonyms
 available on handheld devices can have deleterious effects. The
first
Linking Words
 one is that types of recreational facilities
such
Linking Words
 as video games can make people, especially the children, get several
seriously
Suggestion
serious
 physical and neurological disorders.
For instance
Linking Words
, if an individual glues on the phone screen for a long time without going out for any social activities, he may suffer from obesity, short-sightedness or even depression, which are not only the reason of health deterioration but can prevent him from accessing to certain potential occupation in the future. The
second
Linking Words
 reason worth being mentioned is that a large number of people can easily be negatively affected by illegal types of games that are distributed uncontrollably on the Internet. To be more specific, various counter-educational kinds of
entertainment
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as violent or sexual games may lead people to improper and unlawful
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
This
Linking Words
 can be considered the primary cause of the increase
of
Suggestion
in
 adverse criminal cases
such
Linking Words
 as robbery or sexual assault, which can
damnify
Suggestion
 social safety and national security.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I side with the opinion that the availability of recreational facilities can be
the great
Suggestion
the greatest
 contributors to the development of individuals and
society
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, up-to-date technological games can direct users to positive values. To elaborate, in the past, people used to play traditional games which require little brainstorming efforts.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays, technological devices
such
Linking Words
 as smart phone have allowed games to be more complicated, requiring an advanced combination of knowledge, skills and creativity to generate an appropriate and effective playing
strategies
Suggestion
strategy
.
Thus
Linking Words
, modern games on handheld devices have transformed into a valuable tool that raise people's mind to be more creative and sophisticated.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the new
entertainment
Use synonyms
 industry based on technology games will have more opportunities to develop.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can contribute various undeniable value to the
society
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as taxes, which can help the government invest
for
Suggestion
in
 updating public infrastructure and services to raise their citizen's living standard. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is argued that types of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 on handheld devices can be disadvantageous, I strongly opine that they
can be have
Suggestion
can have
 positive impacts of each individual and the development of the whole
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TTC on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • social isolation
  • interpersonal skills
  • violent content
  • desensitizing
  • cognitive benefits
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving skills
  • educational value
  • stress relief
  • emotional well-being
  • social connections
  • portable entertainment
  • global communities
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