IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to the growth, and increase of supermarket in a few nations, many local businesses are not able to contest. Some individuals are of the opinion that, if indigenous business shuts down it will cause the extinction of native communities. I certainly agree with the view held. A store with all goods in one place, is the dream of any consumer.
For example
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, Walmart is a superstore that has all household commodities. It encompasses all businesses under one roof. Individuals often spend an entire day at one place, but take back all that they require. Since, people are often pressed for time, they schedule a day to pick all the groceries, and end up in a supermarket. The other advantage is that of not having to travel to different places for a particular item.
Nevertheless
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 mega stores have not stopped surprising the public, as
besides
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 foodstuffs they sell clothes too.
Although
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,
in contrast
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 to
this
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 every booming industry the small businesses suffer. Local vendors from the street are unable to get a good amount of money for their goods. They have a few regular customers, but with seldom need to purchase.
Hence
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, they are discouraged from selling their age-old recipes.
For instance
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, a community that sells pork lost its business to the giant company of meat processor. The death of business will eventually result in the extinction of the commodity altogether. If people do not purchase mango pickle anymore, there is no use of preparing the dish. There has to be a constant balance between demand, and supply. In conclusion, even though mega markets are here to stay for a long time it is vital that small stores are given funding as well.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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