IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Professional athletes in popular sports such as football and basketball are paid millions of dollars. Some people believe this is unfair, especially since other professions, such as nurses and primary teachers are paid such low salaries. To what extent do you agree that professional athletes are overpaid？

#athletes #sports #football #basketball #millions #dollars #people #professions #nurses #teachers #salaries #overpaid？
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In my opinion, professional athletes
such
Linking Words
 as football and
basketball
Use synonyms
 are not overpaid. Well, they might make lots of money, but the truth is, most professional athletes don’t have long careers, and
also
Linking Words
 come with a lot of risks that may hurt their bodies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main reason I think that professional athletes are not overpaid is their short careers.
For example
Linking Words
, professional athletes
such
Linking Words
 as
basketball
Use synonyms
 and football, their “golden career age” are around 12 years. They are making money in really short times, not like other professions
such
Linking Words
 as teachers or doctors.
Secondly
Linking Words
, professional athletes have really high risk to hurt or break their bodies. They are in strong competitions with lots of limb collision. Means, of course, easily get harmed. When they are getting harmed, fortunate athletes may just rest for a couple of weeks, but some unfortunate athletes will end their athletic career immediately.
For example
Linking Words
, some well-known
basketball
Use synonyms
 players
such
Linking Words
 as Yao-Ming, Rose and Tracy McGrady, these players will have bright careers if they
are not get
Suggestion
are not getting
do not get
don't get
have not got
have not gotten
 harmed, but they do, and can’t play
basketball
Use synonyms
 anymore.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, fans. All professional athletes have fans, their “high salaries” have a count of a large part
from
Suggestion
of
 their fans. As long as the fans keep supporting their favourite teams, their favourite athletics, the professional athletes will not have a low salary. To sum up, combine the following points, I don’t think professional athletes are overpaid, they paid a lot to reach their achievements, they are presenting their never-give-up
spirits
Suggestion
the spirits
to
Suggestion
of
 everyone who watched their games. They worth it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: