The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with the problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

In today's world, there is an overwhelming stress on the

health

sector in a bid to curb the obesity associated

health

challenges. Others,

however

, consider that the emphasis should be on introducing more lessons on physical

education

the school scheme of work. In my opinion, more physical

education

lessons will make students more knowledgeable about BMI and increase the quality of life. One reason why more physical

education

lessons should be introduced is that students become more aware of their BMI. By

this

, they get to know if they're underweight, of average

weight

or overweight in relations to their height. You cannot change what you do not know, so knowing their BMI will help them take reasonable steps towards achieving the ideal

weight

. Another useful reason of physical

education

is that exercises are natural. Engaging in exercises to lose

weight

have no side effects unlike undergoing cosmetic surgeries like liposuction. In the year 2005, the

then

first

lady of Nigeria died from complications resulting from liposuction. During physical exercises, the individual gets rid of excess calories by sweating.

This

does not put the person in harm's way.

Finally

, exercises

increases

Suggestion

increase

the quality of life. Researches have shown that people with ideal

weight

live more productive and healthier lives.

For instance

obess

excessively fat

obese

people at a risk of some

health

challenges like cardiovascular accidents, which ordinarily can be prevented by regular physical activities and burning of calories. In conclusion, exercise is the most effective way to tackle the

menance

something that is a source of danger

menace

of obesity in the

health

sector, as it poses no harm and it improves the quality of life of individuals.

Mon Oct 07 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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