IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think media should be allowed to publicize information on someone’s private life. Some others believe that media should be regulated in this regard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and relevant examples.

#people #media #information #someone’s #life #answers
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Opinions differ as to whether newspapers hold the right to publicize people’s personal
life
Use synonyms
 or a strict control should be put upon
such
Linking Words
 an action.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss two opposing ideas.
To begin
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 with, it is understandable why some people support the
publishment
Suggestion
 private details on newspapers. One reason is that some individuals, especially celebrities and political figures, would want to have their name widely known.
Thus
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, they would allow newspapers to write articles about their daily healthy routines in order to cultivate interests
from
Suggestion
of
 the mass population.
For example
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, the publicity of a prominent politician’s
pastimes
Suggestion
pastime
 of charity or helping the elderly would significantly boost his credibility among all citizens, especially his supporters.
Likewise
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, an article of a musician showing that he
also
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 regularly spends time on drawing on the weekends would showcase his talents and attract more fans.
On the contrary
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, there are valid reasons for newspapers to be controlled on exposing people’s private
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, the flaw aspects of individuals should not be shared publicly as it will damage their
images
Suggestion
image
.
For instance
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, a news about the love affair
of
Suggestion
with
 an actress will cause a massive scandal resulting in a decrease of her reputation.
Similarly
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, an extravagant
life
Use synonyms
 of a royal member when unveiled would bring an abomination to him and the entire royal family.
Moreover
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,
uncontrolled publicity
Suggestion
the uncontrolled publicity
 of private details means that people’s lives are being illegally invaded and recorded, which may be against their will and certainly violate the law of privacy.
Therefore
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, every publisher should be strongly restricted in recording and sharing private lives unless they acquire people’s permission. In conclusion, while some people accept the news coverage of their personal
life
Use synonyms
 for promoting purposes, others believe publishers should be strictly controlled as non-permitted publicity of private details might rather harm their reputation.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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