IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
Individuals argued that recently our era losing some sort of specific creatures and plants from the nature
,
Accept space
,
 while proponents
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
believes
 that currently the environment dealing with
much
Suggestion
many
 more crucial issues than the problem above.
This
 essay agrees that climate change
,
Accept space
,
 drastically use of plastic bags have
bigger impact
Suggestion
a bigger impact
 on our surroundings
.
Accept space
.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view in details. On the one hand, wildlife vanishing because of illegal hunting. Some hunters firing the wild animals because they want to sell the body parts of
it
Accept comma addition
it, thus
thus
, it has a higher price.
As a result
, some particular type of species extinct from ecosystem.
For instance
, tiger hunting is
prime example
Suggestion
the prime example
a prime example
 in India
,
Accept space
,
as the numbers of tigers reducing day by day.
In addition
, forests are
uprooted
Accept comma addition
uprooted, also
also
 by people for growing crops
.
Accept space
.
In order to
,
Accept space
,
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 the requirement of increasing number of population
.
Accept space
.
Such
 as, Amazolnia cutting and burning down by the
locals
Suggestion
local
local's
 business owner because they want to grow
gugar
(used especially of hair or fur) having a bright orange-brown color
ginger
 cane
whic
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
 is eaten by all Latin Americans.
On the other hand
, climate change is the most environmental threat the universe facing right now. Sea
level
 rise above compared to the past few decades and for
this
 many coastal cities experienced massive flood.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
people
also
 dying for
extreme
Suggestion
extreme levels
an extreme level
the extreme level
level
 of flooding in poor nations. The
senario
an outline or synopsis of a play (or, by extension, of a literary work)
scenario
scenarios
scenery
 will be much more hazardous if no step
are taken
Suggestion
is taken
 by the world leaders
.
Accept space
.
 A recent study found that
,
Accept space
,
 after 2050 the
inhabitats
a person who inhabits a particular place
inhabitants
 of Maldives will be
migrate
Suggestion
migrated
migrating
 to Malaysia and the reason is
significant surge
Suggestion
a significant surge
 in water
level
 in Indian ocean
.
Accept space
.
 The researchers suggested that as the island undergo
water it
Accept comma addition
water, it
 would be better to abandon the place.
In
Suggestion
To
 recapitulate, though humans are producing hazards for plant and animals for their needs
thats
Suggestion
that's
 why
this
 essay opine that rising sea
level
 and use of plastic bags is the most popular
environment
Suggestion
environmental
 issues in our time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: