IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think children's spending time on TV, video and PC games is good, while others think it is terrible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #time #tv #video #pc #games
The way children spend their leisure
time
 significantly changed due to the introduction of
computer
 devices. While some people support the idea of young people spending
time
 on watching
TV
, video and playing games, others disagree with the habit.
This
 essay will discuss both views and explain the reasons why it negatively affects children. In
this
 modern world, everything is technology-orientated,
therefore
, the
use
 of these
computer
 devices is somewhat unavoidable.
Nonetheless
, it is important for children to learn how to
use
 them wisely. As there are a variety of educational materials available on
TV
 programs and on the Internet, it is recommended to
use
 these resources to promote children's learning. Even at schools, the usage of tablets and computers are increasingly popular as a mean of education, and many children are enthusiastic about engaging in the learning activities using the
computer
 technology.
Thus
, if it is used correctly, children can spend meaningful
time
 on these electrical devices.
On the other hand
, its detrimental effects need to be addressed. It is common for young generation to stay inside and watch
TV
 or play
computer
 games, rather than engaging in physical activities with friends outside.
This
 physical inactivity negatively affects children's health, leading to some health issues
such
 as obesity and early onset of type 2 diabetes.
In addition
, some information on
TV
 shows and websites is not suitable for younger users in terms of sexuality and violence, name not but a few. For these reasons, children should not be encouraged to spend too much
time
 in front of a screen. In conclusion,
although
 the
use
 of
computer
 devices can be an aid in children's learning activities, I personally think that spending an excessive amount of
time
 in front of a screen should not be encouraged owing to the possible negative influences on children's health, together with the prevalence of age inappropriate contents.
Submitted by sayaka.m61 on

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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