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Band 4

Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think that it is essential to learn. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #history #waste #time
Even though educating
history
 is thought by some to be worthless for our lives, others claim that it is a crucial subject. In my opinion, if people do not have
a sufficient knowledge
Remove the article
sufficient knowledge
a piece of sufficient knowledge
show examples
 about their historical phenomena they will be convicted
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 experiencing
all
Correct pronoun usage
it all
show examples
 again by themselves. The opponents of learning
history
 as an academic science argue that, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most educational systems
over
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the world,
history
 is taught as if to just memorize the dates
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and names;
thus
,
this
 bias makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an extremely banal subject which is not worth the time.
Furthermore
, they interpret that knowing the past is a lack of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
efficiency
to address
Change preposition
in addressing
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 the recent issues on account of the upheavals societies have seen worldwide in the interim.
As a result
, the
history
 books become redundant.
On the other hand
, people are of the opinion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
 repeats itself, providing the nations have not been aware of their ancient events, problems, culture and even traditions. To illustrate more,
according to
 the
last
 article about the Harappan civilization, in “American
History
” magazine, many scientists state that The preceding people suffer the climatic changes and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water storage. If we attain the fact that how they deal with these problems it could be a breakthrough to protect our planet. In conclusion, I opine that we need our
history
 to ensure that when we face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
precedents, we indubitably take far more efficient
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 to solve them. Thereby, we will never repeat our ancestors’ mistakes.
Moreover
, we can utilize the benefit of their experiences in the same circumstances.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion adequately summarize the main points of your essay. Additionally, support your arguments with more relevant examples and provide a more comprehensive response to the task question.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task question by discussing both sides of the argument, but the response is not entirely comprehensive. Develop your ideas more thoroughly and provide a more balanced analysis of both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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