Experts say older people were happier and healteir in the past because they did more excercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions ?

#experts #people #healteir #excercise #time #friends #loneliness #health

Researchers reported that aged individuals lived

better

Suggestion

the good

life

in the past as they were physically active and spent major time to be socialise, while some of

them

of them or themselves

their

faces problems

such

isolation and unhealthy.In

this

essay I will examine the causes of

this problems

Suggestion

this problem

these problems

and discuss some possible remedies. The two major causes of these problems

Suggestion

are

insufficent

of a quantity not able to fulfill a need or requirement

insufficient

knowledge of the modern technology and

laziness

Suggestion

laziest

of them.

Nowadays majority

Suggestion

The nowadays majority

of people

use

the social media to socialise with friends and families, while people who are over 60 does not know how to

use

this

medias

a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information

media

. Due to

this

reason they are unable to be with their families.

Moreover

, most of these persons

leads

Suggestion

lead

sedentary

Suggestion

sedentary lives

a sedentary life

life

without nutritious

dieat

a prescribed selection of foods

diet

diets

.As a

consquence

a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon

consequence

, they

are suffer

Suggestion

are suffering

are suffered

have suffered

from serious health issues,

such

as obesity and heart disease.

For example

, research conducted by the Health Department of India reported that more than 60% of older people have cardiac

diseasebecause

Suggestion

disease because

of leading inactive

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

and consuming fatty food.

Thus

, more

use

of the Internet and laziness of older people

make

Suggestion

makes

them alone and ill. Some possible solution for these situations is raising

awerness

having knowledge of

awareness

about

use

Suggestion

the use

of technology and by subsidising the

finess

the quality of being suitable

fitness

centres. By providing information about

technoloy's

the practical application of science to commerce or industry

technologies

negative effect on the older people to youth, we can make

olders

plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned

others

more happy

Suggestion

happier

For instance

, if

grandchild

Suggestion

the grandchild

a grandchild

know

Suggestion

knows

that his grandparents suffer from loneliness, most of them will certainly

spent

Suggestion

spend

their leisure with grandparents.

Also

, subsidising gyms and other sport activity,

government

Suggestion

the government

could help

age group

Suggestion

an aging group

aging group

above 60.To

examplify

be characteristic of

exemplify

this

, if people gain financial help from state government in fitness clubs, most of them join

this clubs

Suggestion

this club

these clubs

. So, providing subsidies by state and raising

awarness

having knowledge of

awareness

in young people might be useful for

olders

plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned

others

. To conclude, Three decades ago people were used to

more joyful

Suggestion

a more joyful life

life

and socialise

Accept space

but because of the invention and

inactive lifestyle

Suggestion

inactive lifestyles

an inactive lifestyle

, many of them are alone or suffer from critical diseases.

However

this

problem

could be solve

Suggestion

could be solved

with funding in fitness centres and informing young about

this

Wed Oct 09 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyles
technological advancements
work culture
urbanization
geographical separation
mental health stigma
traditional family structures
intergenerational living
physical activity
social interactions

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Experts say older people were happier and healteir in the past because they did more excercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions ?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages.

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantageous of taking risks outweigh the disadvantageous?

Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.