IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Topic: It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents . Do you agree or disagree .

#topic #college #students #home #parents
In today's time it is really important to keep yourself updated according to the outside world, but
this
 requires several sacrifices out of which one is to stay away from your guardians. Education plays an important role to prepare a person for
better life
Suggestion
a better life
 ahead and for
this
 you need to keep yourself updated with, how the education is
system
Suggestion
systematically
 changing. Study teaches you not only to gain good marks to get a better job, but
also
 teaches you discipline and gives you the courage and thinking to change the world positively. In order to get the education to become a better person you need to choose the right school or
college
 or university to brush up your talents and
also
 to get into the habit to stay disciplined. If the students will stay away from their parents for higher
studies
Accept comma addition
studies, then
then
 it will
beneficial
Suggestion
benefit
 for them in terms of, to learn how things are going on globally because not all the colleges or universities are equipped with the modern
ideas of study
Suggestion
study of ideas
 and standards
also
 lack which
as a result
 end up wasting money of the parents, time and hard work of the students. Leaving your parents or staying away from your parents for the betterment of your upcoming life will make them a proud parent once the child will become a successful person, on contrary if you choose not to leave your family and pursue the
college
 studies from your hometown and later realize that you just wasted your time though their is no difference in what was taught at your
college
 versus what the outside
college
 would have taught you, but the difference is how it was taught and
also
 because it helped you only to score good but didnt give you any confidence and didn't enhance your personality too. So, in my
opinion their
Accept comma addition
opinion, there
opinion there
 is no harm in sending your children away from you if it brightens their life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: