IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

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There are many debates regarding which option is better whether to
work
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five
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 days a
week
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 for short hours or to
work
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 for
three
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 days a
week
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 for long hours. According to
me I
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me, I
 think our mental and physical health is important when we do
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job
Suggestion
a job
the job
 and if we take
stress
Suggestion
the stress
 and
work
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 under pressure we would not be able to pursue that
job
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 for
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
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. I agree with the statement that doing
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work
Suggestion
the work
 is enjoyable if we do it for
five
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 days a
week
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 for shorter hours than to
work
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 for
three
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 days a
week
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 for long hours, because of the following reasons that I am going to explain in the following passage.
First
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 of all, I believe that when we do
work
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 for shorter hours it will increase the efficiency to do
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work
Suggestion
the work
 due to which the
quality
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 of
work
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 will
also
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 improve. When we
work
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 for limited hours we have the capacity to do our best and we put our entire efforts to make that
work
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 perfect because we can think better we are not stressed by
prolong
Suggestion
prolonged
prolonging
 sitting due to long hours. We can devote ourselves to our
work
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 mentally and physically. My personal experience is a compelling example of
this
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. In my previous
job
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 I used to
work
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 for
three
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 days a
week
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 and for 12 hours a day, due to which I could not focus on my projects effectively. I felt drowsy most of the
time
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 due to which I made lots of mistakes in my reports. But in my current
job
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 I
work
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 for 8 hours a day for
five
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 days a
week
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 and I
work
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 enthusiastically. I devote myself completely to enhance the
quality
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 of my
work
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 and I pay attention towards each and every detail of my
work
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.
Linking Words
Secondly I
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Secondly, I
 think that if I do
work
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 for shorter hours for
five
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 days a
week
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,
Accept space
,
 I can
also
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 give
sometime
Suggestion
some time
 to myself. I like to get indulged in doing some recreational activities like going to
gym
Suggestion
the gym
, going for swimming and I can
also
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 spend
quality
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 of
time
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 with my family. I think I can have a proper schedule that I can follow daily according to my preferences.
For
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instance my
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instance, my
 brother works for
three
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 hours a
week
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 for long hours due to which he cannot fix his daily schedule for himself. Sometimes he has to skip his gym class or he cannot attend family dinner and get together. On
contrary I
Suggestion
the contrary, I
the contrary I
 do
work
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 for
five
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 days a
week
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 for shorter hours and I can enjoy with my family, going for shopping and spend
time
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 with my friends
also
Linking Words
. To sum up with I am of the opinion that it is more enjoyable to
work
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 for
five
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 days a
week
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 for shorter hours than to
work
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 for
three
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 days a
week
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 for
longer
Suggestion
long
 hours because it can improve the
quality
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 of
work
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 and I can make a proper schedule to indulge myself doing other activities.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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