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Band 4

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #birth #rates #china #usa #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The figure given shows the
birth
Use synonyms
 rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. Clearly, both rates fluctuated dramatically during
this
Linking Words
 period. China’s
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 rose from around 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 1920s to 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1935.
Then
Linking Words
 it fell sharply to around 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in both 1940 and 1945. It increased rapidly to a peak of 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1950.
After
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 it fell dramatically to less than 10
percent
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 in 1955.
Finally
Linking Words
, it
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 steadily to about 2
percent
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 in 1980 and remained at
this
Linking Words
 level until 2000. Meanwhile, the US
birth
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rate
Use synonyms
 fluctuated at around 12
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 1920 to 1940. It decreased dramatically to under 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1945.
Next
Add a comma
Next,
show examples
 it increased rapidly to a peak of about 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 1950. After 1950, it fell gradually to about 12
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 1960s and around 7 or 8
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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during the
last
Linking Words
 20 years of
this
Linking Words
 period.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the US
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
generally
Add a missing verb
is generally
show examples
 higher than the
birth
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rate
Use synonyms
 of China (especially after 1950), both
birth
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 rates followed a very similar trend.
Submitted by mostafa.c1378 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, rate, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 3 times.
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