Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Developments
in
technology
over many
years
have dramatically changed the world that we live in, and some
people
think that earlier advances in
technology
have had a greater impact on and
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
more beneficial to the
lives
of ordinary
people
than more recent changes.
However
, I partially agree with
this
as the advantages and influences on
people
’s
lives
actually
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
on the particular area of
technology
. There is no doubt that some earlier advances in
technology
have been very influential,
such
as those related to
technology
around the home. Devices
such
as washing machines, fridges and freezers, central heating, microwaves and televisions were invented many
years
ago, and now nearly every household has all or some of these in their home, making life much easier. Though they have been improved over time, they still carry out much the same purpose as when they were first invented. Another example is that of medicine. Despite the fact that there have been groundbreaking recent medical
developments
,
such
as that connected to research into genes and stem cells, the benefits to the average person are still many
years
away. The most influential impacts on health have been earlier technological
developments
of the past, which remain today. These are the ability to treat so many injuries and diseases and carry out organ transplants in hospitals. It is these that have benefits on so many
lives
and will for decades to come. 
However
, if we look at some more recent
developments
, they have had a much greater influence than in the past.
For instance
, there is the phone, which was a significant development when invented
helping
Wrong verb form
to help
show examples
many
people
.
However
,
although
invented many
years
ago, technological
developments
over the
last
few decades have enabled the phone to
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
be mobile and connected to the internet.
This
has had incredible impacts on the way
people
Iive
Correct your spelling
Live
their
lives
with
people
using phones for so many everyday activities and for connecting around the world. In conclusion, I would argue that
although
some older technological
developments
are important, some new ones are too. The impacts on ordinary
people
’s
lives
,
therefore
,
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
on the type of
technology
in question.
Submitted by kunle.obisesan on

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Task Response
Good job addressing the prompt and providing a balanced perspective. Ensure that you fully develop each argument to strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have effectively organized your ideas and used cohesive devices to connect your paragraphs. However, consider using more diverse linking words and phrases for a more sophisticated structure.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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