IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #punishment #crime #circumstances #motivation #account
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unfortunately, people commit crimes every day. Each country has developed the
rules
Use synonyms
 for handling it.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
 these
rules
Use synonyms
 depend on the past of the person and
Use synonyms
context
Correct article usage
the context
show examples
 around a
crime
Use synonyms
. Let's try to discuss whether is good or not to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
non strict
Add a hyphen
non-strict
show examples
rules
Use synonyms
 for making the final judgment. We can't stress enough that removing
context
Use synonyms
 from
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 decision obviously will make every situation more simple. After that, all
rules
Use synonyms
 will be transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 simple mapping between the
crime
Use synonyms
 and the punishment. On the one side, it will help to make judgements faster and decrease the error rate of wrong decisions. On the other side, decisions will become
more crude
Replace the words
cruder
show examples
 and mean for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people. The
context
Use synonyms
 is important to make the right decision. I will try to describe one situation to show that. Let's imagine that you are a tourist trying to buy a bus ticket in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 country with a different language. Because of the lack of
language
Add a comma
language,
show examples
 you ended up with the wrong type of document for travelling. It would be
non fair
Correct word choice
unfair
show examples
 to treat you as
native
Add an article
a native
the native
show examples
 speaker who is doing the same
crime
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 regular basis. I think we should always consider the circumstances when we are making the final decisions. We can not equally judge people who have done the
crime
Use synonyms
 by mistake. In conclusion, we can see that the
context
Use synonyms
 of committing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
 can radically change the severity of
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 in society. And if look at
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 experience of many different countries we can see that the
context
Use synonyms
 of committing crimes is important.
Submitted by teh.ld86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: