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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times, and they think it is a waste of time to read any entertainments books. What is your opinion about this?

As the competition increases with each day
so
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, so
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 the parents do want their children to read only serious educational
books
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 at all
the
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apply
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times because they do not want them to get diverted from
studies
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 by reading
entertainment
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books
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. As per the parents
reading
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, reading
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 only serious educational
books
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 will keep their young ones sincere towards
studies
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 and which in
result
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turn
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 will help them to score better and to get better future opportunities in terms of jobs.
On the contrary
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, if they
will
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apply
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read
entertainment
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books
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books,
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 their
mind
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 will get diverted
and
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, and
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this
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 might hamper their upcoming life because they will not be able to focus on their
studies
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 completely. In my opinion, both
studies
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 and good
time
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 are equally important. Education is really important for an individual to reach prestigious heights in their life by getting a better job or by getting better future prospects, but no one can keep themselves involved in education all the
times
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time
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and
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, and
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 to study well
a
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, a
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break is required. The break can be taken in several forms from watching television to following your hobbies or passion or by spending some
time
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 in reading any
entertainment
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books
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 to refresh their
mind
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 and to follow a bright to be
time
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 again. I believe that education and
entertainment
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 can be taken side by side to maintain a balance in life and to not get stressed or depressed by studying the whole day
and
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, and
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 by keeping yourself busy in scoring higher than the
last
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time
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.
Entertainment
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books
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 will
also
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 help to increase your reading habits
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along
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, along
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 with the fact
to
Correct word choice
that to
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 make your
mind
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 feel fresh
which
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, which
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 will make it work better than
before
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before,
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 because the pressure from your brain gets released and your
mind
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get
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gets
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 relief from all the thoughts that were going on in your head during
studies
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. In conclusion, I would like to say that I support free
time
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 or
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entertainment based
Use the right word
entertainment-based
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books
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.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main ideas and provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
content
Your opinion is clearly stated, and you discuss the importance of both education and entertainment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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