IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People eat more processed food than they did in the past. why is this? what are the effects of this?

#people #food #effects
People ate healthy
food
 in the past than in the present. A fast-paced routine has forced them towards processed
food resulting
Accept comma addition
food, resulting
 in poor health. People wake up and begin planning for the rest of the day, leaving home without breakfast. As they are occupied continuously with a pile of work, tend to miss lunch break. People are bound by tight deadlines to achieve targets, spending most of the time on the desk. In
this
 competitive world, it is difficult to survive
at
Suggestion
in
 a job and you are required to prove your potential at every moment.
As a result
, they choose a fast-
food
 to save time, so that they can have a meal simultaneously while working.
Although
, it is tastier to taste buds, harsh on the stomach.
However
, people are costing their life in the event of getting paid more. The primary effect of consuming unhealthy
food
 is bad health. It slowly deteriorates the internal body strength of a person, giving birth to many diseases and disorders. Processed
food
 contains preservatives and additives which are very harmful to the human body.
Secondly
, it affects one's personality in terms of professional and personal.
This
 could mean they under-perform at work and be more irritable at home. A recent survey showed that 20% of IT professionals tend to suffer
from cholesterol and high
Suggestion
from high cholesterol and
 blood pressure. In conclusion, due to the growing market and technology, people are extremely focused on
work sparing
Accept comma addition
work, sparing
 less time to eat and
hence
 grabbing fast-
food
 to kill hunger.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: