Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opinion.

It is argued that in terms of infants' development, the father and mother play the most vital role,

whereas

Linking Words

opponents think that others are the most influential.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain both notions and suggest that a family is the base of any development for juveniles.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

parents

Use synonyms

are naturally responsible for their babies' productivity. To be more precise, when a newborn comes to

this

Linking Words

world, they can see first their bearers, and they realise within a few days that

Use synonyms

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

are their sole and reliable source of survival.

Although

Linking Words

they gradually grow up

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and discover other options that might influence them, they prioritize their

parents

Use synonyms

' opinions for every single matter. Studies have shown that, as an example, young starts, who spend most of their time with their

parents

Use synonyms

, are more effective in solving problems in their professional field.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some experts believe that other things like electronic devices have more power to control youngsters than their guardians.

In other words

Linking Words

, in today's world,

parents

Use synonyms

do not have proper support to take their babies out for different activities that they prefer to do.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they provide an iPad in their hands to keep them engaged so that

parents

Use synonyms

can finish their routine activities.

While

Linking Words

watching television or cartoons on those devices, infants save themselves in their brains, resulting in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

addiction to different other things.

Although

Linking Words

some other things might break kids' concentrations, I personally believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

guardians are the most effective pioneers for their babies' development. Because they influence them throughout their lives.

Consequently

Linking Words

, youngsters are in the family bondings in their entire life. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned reasons,

while

Linking Words

friends or contemporary devices could be manipulating reasons, forbearers are the most influential people for their kids because of their staying together and getting valuable guidance from them.

nabeshimajli17dhakaSat Apr 12 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that the points made in your essay are more explicitly supported with examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and provide clarity.

coherence and cohesion

In your body paragraphs, try to enhance the linking phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas, for better flow.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively outlines the topic and presents the two views clearly, setting the stage for the discussion.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your opinion, reflecting a clear stance on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
values
norms
emotional support
psychological growth
educational tool
cognitive development
social influencers
social skills
balanced influence

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Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many people are likely to over use internet and some of them even become addicted to it. What are reason for this? What problem can be cause by internet over use?

Nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage?