IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that children from poor families can manage adult life issues more easily than rich kids. I completely agree that low
income
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 houses can better prepare the kids to face harsh conditions in
adulthood
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.
This
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 essay will,
firstly
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 discuss how poverty helps children to understand the importance of hard
work
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 and
secondly
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, will illustrate that these kids can easily deal with money management in
adulthood
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.
First
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 and foremost, children brought up by parents of low
income
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 status understand that achievements can only be acquired through hard
work
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.
In other words
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, they are aware that their parents have to struggle to satisfy the basic needs of the family and
hence
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, they grow up with the same thoughts that people have to
work
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 hard in order to succeed in adult life.
For instance
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, it was recently reported in the Times that 95% of young adults who came from destitute families would readily accept any demanding job, even though they are overqualified, as compared to only 2% of those who were already rich as kids. Another reason why children from low
income
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 families can better deal with
adulthood
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 problems is that they are more prepared to manage their budget.
This
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 is to say that, while observing their parents allocate the monthly share of their
income
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 to basic needs and not disbursing money on luxury items, the young ones learn to develop essential skills
such
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 as money management and decision making.
For example
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, a study carried out in 2018 by the University of Greenwich revealed that 8 out of 10 young adults who are massively indebted came from rich families while only 10% of those were poor as kids. In conclusion, poor parents can prepare their children in a better way to face the hardships of
adulthood
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 since they show their kids to
work
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 hard to achieve something and
also
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, they inculcate in the young minds how to manage their
income
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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