IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience.

#families #change
In earlier days, families were considered to have the greatest of bonds with each other.
However
, now it is not the case. In many developed countries, it is a tradition to let their children live their life on their own terms which is creating differences within the families. Higher studies of children and overburden of work for parents have
also
 made the family to live apart. But there are some suggestions which can help people work together and decrease the gap that might have been created by time and situation. Over usage of smartphones has played a major role in creating
large gap
Suggestion
a large gap
 in the families. Teenage
are addicted
Suggestion
is addicted
have been addicted
 to mobile phones ever since handed over to them. They either play games or interact with social networking applications.
Generation gap
Suggestion
The generation gap
A generation gap
 is
also
 one of the factors,
for example
, elderly people are unable
to to
in the direction of
to
 communicate with their loved ones living away from them, which creates a barrier between the families. Technology has tried to keep families together but due to lack of proper knowledge of smart phones, the elderly have been apart from their loved ones.
Moreover
, most families are of
working class
Suggestion
the working class
 and due to
overburden
Suggestion
an overburden
 of work, parents are unable to give proper time to their family members.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • family interactions
  • technological advancements
  • virtual interactions
  • dual-income households
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • social structures
  • individualism
  • family cohesiveness
  • belonging
  • open communication
  • emotional support
  • shared activities
  • family dynamics
  • work-life balance
  • family traditions
  • regular gatherings
  • counseling
  • family therapy
  • prioritizing family time
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