IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#children #diseases
Vaccination has always been a way of preventing diseases in children. There is an ongoing debate on its necessity and harmful effect as some claimed that it is not important and has adverse consequences.
This
 essay will discuss the importance of vaccination and the benefit in preventing diseases. The opposition by some parents to the immunization of their children is not out of place.
This
 is due adverse medical reaction and long term health challenges traced to it.
For example
, a Polio vaccine produced by GlaxoSmithkline pharmaceuticals and distributed in northern Nigeria by the World Health Organisation (WHO) was found to have substances that increased the blood pressure of people who took the vaccines. The company eventually settled and paid compensation of $2billion to the victims. There is
also
 a myth around immunization in some part of Africa, where it is alleged to have caused infertility even though there is no medical research to validate
such
 claims. The unpleasant experience some parents have had and the unconfirmed stories are factors that are responsible for the push back. Despite the above reasons, I think it is preposterous for people not to get immunized considering the obvious benefits. Vaccinations are results of many years of medical research into preventable sicknesses. It has been proven over the years that a lot of diseases
such
 as polio, meningitis, cholera e.t.c., can be prevented by immunization. The effect leaves the victim with permanent deformities and in some cases blindness. The impact is far reaching on society as they become dependent on others for survival. A recent survey by WHO revealed that 95% of deformities caused by polio could have been prevented during childhood if vaccines were taken. Prevention is proven to be better than cure, taking the vaccine is a way of giving children a productive future. In conclusion, the essay discussed the criticality of immunizing children against preventable health challenges and its advantages.
Submitted by jerryefionayi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: