Some people think that having a set retirement age (e. g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many people believe that having a fixed

retirement

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age

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for all

workers

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is unfair, as some professions are far more physically or mentally demanding than others. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

view and believe that certain

workers

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should be allowed to retire earlier with a pension. A more flexible system would ensure fairness and protect

workers

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’ well-being. A universal

retirement

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age

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does not consider the varying challenges of different jobs. Physically demanding professions put excessive strain on the body, leading to chronic pain, injuries, and long-term

health

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issues.

Similarly

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, jobs that involve high levels of stress and emotional pressure can cause burnout and mental

health

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problems. For these

workers

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, continuing to work until an advanced

age

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may negatively impact both their performance and quality of life.

Therefore

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, a one-size-fits-all

retirement

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policy is impractical and unjust. Certain professions clearly deserve early

retirement

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benefits. Construction

workers

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, miners, and firefighters,

for instance

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, perform physically exhausting tasks that can severely impact their

health

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over time.

Likewise

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, police officers, paramedics, and air traffic controllers operate in high-pressure environments where mental sharpness is crucial. Prolonged exposure to

such

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conditions can lead to serious physical and psychological consequences. Allowing these

workers

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to retire earlier would prevent long-term

health

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risks and ensure they can enjoy their later years in good condition. In conclusion, setting the same

retirement

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age

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for all

workers

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is unfair, as different jobs have different demands. A flexible

retirement

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system that allows physically and mentally strained

workers

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to retire earlier

while

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permitting others to work longer would be a fairer and more effective approach.

nargesamin0Wed Feb 26 2025

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the task effectively. Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument for greater clarity.

task achievement

Consider adding more examples or elaborations to further support your points. Additional details can enhance the argument and provide a deeper understanding.

coherence cohesion

Overall, the essay is well-organized, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. To improve, ensure that transitions between ideas flow smoothly, enhancing the reader's experience.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states your position and sets up the discussion well.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with coherent paragraphs that each focus on a main idea, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Many people still believe that riding a bicycle is the best way to get to places. What are the advantage and disadvantage of using a bicycle these days?

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It is more important for a building to serve a purpose than to look beautiful. Architects shouldn’t worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree?