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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural background living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree?

#people #nationalities #background #country
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Difference, heterogeneity, plurality are terms which enable us to lead a richer life. And
this
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 can become a tangible reality with a society embracing
communities
Suggestion
community
 from different walks of life, from other cultures than their own as part of them. I completely agree with the viewpoint that ppl of different faiths, cultures and languages coming together lead to a cultural diversity which results in faster
development
Use synonyms
 of the nation politically, economically and culturally.
Firstly
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, the communities coming from different countries bring diverse ideas along with them. These ideas help in the progression of the
country
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 in all fields.
For
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example with
Accept comma addition
example, with
 the settlement of more Chinese communities has resulted in
greater advancement
Suggestion
the greater advancement
 in technology and science in Pakistan.
Therefore
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, citizens are more aware of different types of technological advancement outside Pakistan.
Arts
Suggestion
The arts
 flourish because of the emergence of heterogeneous ideas foregrounded on account of cultural diversity.
Secondly
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, when people from different backgrounds live together, they become more tolerant towards
eachother
Suggestion
each other
. Because it gives them the snapshot of the different ethnicities outside their
country
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, ppl are able to rise above and beyond their narrow mindset and embrace differences of all kinds. Not only it enables them to gain a more nuanced perspective of
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
, it provides
better understanding
Suggestion
a better understanding
 of their certain
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Therefore
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, more resources are spent in the
development
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 of the
country
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 rather than resolving the conflicts in society.
Finally
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, these
culturally
Suggestion
cultural
culture
 diverse groups promote the tourism which forms the base income of many countries.
For
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example countries
Accept comma addition
example, countries
 like Malaysia and Thailand generate their maximum income for the tourist industry.
This
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development
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 of tourism becomes possible because
multiplicity
Suggestion
the multiplicity
 of faiths, culture and languages enable new historical heritages to develop.
This
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 helps
is establishing
Suggestion
establish
 a better image of the
country
Use synonyms
 across the world.
Moreover
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, these people
also
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 help in the promotion of trade with different countries which helps establish a better economy since the flow of money in and out of the
country
Use synonyms
stablizes
make stable and keep from fluctuating or put into an equilibrium
stabilizes
stabilize
stabilises
 the financial status of any nation. To conclude, I believe that heterogeneous communities are much more successful as compared to
hemogenous
all of the same or similar kind or nature
homogeneous
 ones as they help in faster
development
Use synonyms
 of a nation.
Submitted by summaiyamallam on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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