IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

#future #proportion #people #population #countries #🔸is #development
Both aspects have got their own positives and negatives. In my opinion, it would be a negative development as the
future
 is always in the hands of the youth and they are considered as the
future
 makers. No doubt, old people have got their importance and
thier
of them or themselves
their
there
 existence is
also
 important, but when we talk about the
future it
Accept comma addition
future, it
 is always in the hands of the younger
generation
. Old people always laying a foundation for the
future
; their experience, guidance and supervision are always very
crucuial
of extreme importance; vital to the resolution of a crisis
crucial
, but they are not so productive due to their
age
 and health factor as compared to the young
generation
. So, the existence of the youth over
the old
Suggestion
the older
older
generation
 is considered when we talk about the
future
. A young man can work for 18 years, but an old person cannot be so much efficient.
For example
, in Japan a normal man of
age
 24-35 works for 16 to 18 hours in a day, but a man whose
age
 is 60 years or 70 years would not be so much
effective
Suggestion
more effective
 due to health and
age
 factors. So in my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would say, it would not be a positive development if there is a higher proportion of old people as compared to the younger
generation
 in some countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • mentorship
  • strain
  • public healthcare systems
  • pension schemes
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • automation
  • consumption patterns
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • sustainable living
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: