Compared to the past, more younger adults take medications for degenerative diseases. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#adults #medications #diseases #support

According to the recent trends in the medical industry,

more young

Suggestion

younger

adults take medication for degenerative diseases. The volume of medical cases in young

generation

is comparatively higher than in the older

generation

. One main reason for increasing health issues is

lifestyle

Suggestion

a lifestyle

. A major portion of the diseases diagnosed nowadays is classified as the '

lifestyle

disease'. These diseases, as the name indicates is caused by the

lifestyle

of the new

generation

. Lack of exercise, unhealthy

food

and drinking habits makes the situation worse. Lack of exercise contributes to a major portion of the

lifestyle

diseases. In the yesteryears people ought to work hard physically to earn their

living whereas

Accept comma addition

living, whereas

the majority seek a white-collar job these days. They live a sedentary life. The older

generation

used to work in the

soil cultivating

Accept comma addition

soil, cultivating

crops by ploughing, digging and carrying materials a long way. These physical works made them fit. Another important aspect of unhealthy habits is the

food

we consume. People tend to choose unhealthy

food

items as they are so handy and takes less effort to prepare. Consuming so much oily and processes

food

in a huge quantity aggravates the

situation whereas

Accept comma addition

situation, whereas

having soft drinks in a large volume adds fuel to the situation. Summing up, in my opinion, the unhealthy habits and

lifestyle

of the new

generation

is the major factor that makes them live under medications at a very

younger

Suggestion

young

age.

Submitted by priyams1618 on Sun Oct 13 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

233 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Compared to the past, more younger adults take medications for degenerative diseases. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?