IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #fashion #items #cost #money #part #life
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It is true that some fashionable clothes and accessories are nowadays becoming more costly with many believing that it is ludicrous to spend huge sums of money on them, while others hold the view that
such
 items have a vital role to play in our everyday lives.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the debate and give a concluding view. On the one hand, opponents of spending lots of fortune on stylish items claim that
such
 trendy outfits appear to be a waste of money. They argue that more attention should be paid on other more vital things
such
 as food and accommodation. The human body needs nutrients that can be absorbed from vegetables and meat intake, to function properly as well as a place to rest at night after a long stressful working day. Another argument is that money for high-end fashion should go to education
instead
.
For example
, if someone uses his or her fashion’s expense to register for a training course at the university,
this
 initial investment will definitely benefit that person in the long run in terms of having more vital skills for their future career.
On the other hand
, those who propose the idea that fashion plays a crucial role in our daily lives highlight that
such
 clothing and garments can act not only as a decoration but
also
 a protection from harsh conditions of the external environment. The human body is not covered by a thick fur like other mammals,
such
 as lions or polar bears, which means that a man cannot survive in scorching or chilly climate. Thanks for putting on pieces of clothing, human beings are able to live and even thrive in severe environments like deserts or mountains.
Secondly
, some so-called luxurious shirts and trousers could in fact create a better image for those who wear them. A lawyer would never convince his customers if he does not dress formally to generate trustworthiness and profession. To conclude,
although
 fashion items and accessories may sometimes cost an arm and a leg, it seems to me that
such
 high expenditure on outfits is satisfactory in terms of safeguarding and greater appearance.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic gap
  • impractical consumer behavior
  • overspending
  • accumulation of debt
  • materialism
  • superficial values
  • self-esteem
  • self-expression
  • psychological benefits
  • social benefits
  • quality of materials
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable practices
What to do next:
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