IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#schools
Violence has caused a warning alert in education management. I definitely agree that bullying brings a heavy effect in many countries and should be considered as a great burden to society. School is actually a reflection of our social environment. The differences between students, like family background, study achievements, personal characteristics and teacher’s preference, lead to jealousy and hatred, which are the main reasons of school bullying.
For example
, there are many types of students, including students with good records, students from the rich family and students who have difficulties. Some students, who are weak in physical and psychological strength, will be the ideal victims of bullying.
However
, extraordinary students like good, pretty or rich students, may
also
 be isolated. In short, to the rest of the class, these students are usually discarded because they are different. It is normal for a family to be proud of their social status.
However
, parents need to be careful when talking, since the language they use will affect how their children contact
to
Suggestion
with
 the world.
Therefore
, the best solution now is educating students to accept the difference as the good things and how to learn from the others.
In addition
, the victims need to learn to be stronger in mind by reporting to his/her family or schools, because 80% of the
continuous
Suggestion
continuing
 violence
was
Suggestion
were
 from the
silent
Suggestion
silence
 of the victims. From the school side, they
also
 need to take responsibilities by implying good rules and giving fair decisions. These actions will help to send a strong message that students will be protected from bullying, no matter who the bullies are. To conclude, bullying have become a worldwide education matter that needs governments, schools and families work together to stop and prevent it for the future of our children.
Submitted by n.t.linh.tran93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: