IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Society would benefit from a complete ban on all forms of advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #ban #forms #advertisement
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people insist that advertising is considered completely useless, and believe that imposing a ban on it definitely brings about benefits. While I acknowledge the downsides of advertisements, I would argue that there should not be a complete ban On the one hand, there are several reasons to believe that advertising has negative impacts on our life.
Firstly
, manufacturers and entrepreneurs, in order to boost up their sales and profits, spare no effort to promote their products with captivating advertisements, which may consist of stunning pictures, extraordinary effects and exaggerated contents.
This
 stimulates potential buyers and results in impulsive purchases of unnecessary commodities.
Secondly
, some companies
deliberately aims
Suggestion
deliberately aim
are deliberately aimed
 at children, and what they do is that they expose children to
colorful
Suggestion
colour
colourful
 and appealing commercials for products
such
 as toys. Since
the young
Suggestion
younger
 children are inexperienced, they are apparently influenced by these advertisements and
consequently
 put pressure on their parents to purchase them items.
On the other hand
, I hold the perception that prohibition of advertisements is not a sound initiative. From
economic perspective
Suggestion
an economic perspective
the economic perspective
, without the existence of commercials, the
country
Suggestion
country's
 economy would suffer severely. There may be a boom in
unemployment rate
Suggestion
the unemployment rate
 as those who are working in the advertising industry would become jobless.
In addition
, companies could face plenty of
challenges improving
Accept comma addition
challenges, improving
 their profits owing to the fact that less consumers are aware of their products and services. From buyers’ perspective, commercials keep them informed
on
Suggestion
about
different products
Suggestion
the different products
 and alternatives that are available.
As a result
, without advertisements, consumers may find it challenging making purchases as there is little information on the choices that they are offered. In conclusion, advertising, albeit being harmful to the community somehow, appears to have vital roles to
certain extent
Suggestion
a certain extent
. As
such
, I believe that banning it is not reasonable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: