Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity- #film #star #sports #personality- #celebrity

To be a famous personality,

for instance

a movie actor or a prominent name in the sports world; has its merits and demerits. Having fame brings

money but

Accept comma addition

money, but

it requires extreme fitness. According to me, it brings more difficulties rather than ease in the

life

. Earning a name in the glamour world gives opportunities to make huge amounts of

money

. With that

money

one can buy expensive goods and live a

life

of luxury.

For example

, John Rambo; before becoming famous, he had to sell his dog because he could not afford to feed

him but

Accept comma addition

him, but

once he became famous from the movie “Rocky”, he started earning really good

money

and now he has millions of dollars and enjoys an amazing

life

which a common person can only dream of. Contrary to that, to be famous requires

extreme level

Suggestion

extreme levels

an extreme level

of fitness.

Weather

Suggestion

Whether

it is glamour world

connects a noun with the preceding word

sports, an individual has to look very good and be in proper shape which usually requires extreme diets and regular workout with fitness trainers.

For instance

, Rubi Hassan; a prominent actress in

Pakistani film industry

Suggestion

the Pakistani film industry

, gained weight after being successful for a few years. Now, no one is willing to work with her because she has not been able to control her obesity and is not in good shape anymore.

Moreover

, one does not have a private

life

anymore because of the media.

Finally

, in my opinion; being an eye candy, it brings more issues in comparison to the benefits that it offers.

Submitted by groupefs556 on Mon Oct 14 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funds from government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?