IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People tend to believe that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work for the good of the community. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #adults #period #work #community
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these days, there is an increasing trend of young people participating in voluntary
work
Use synonyms
for
Suggestion
in
 their communities. While some people contend that doing community services is a wasteful effort. Personally, I think
this
Linking Words
 certainly has a good impact over society
overall but
Accept comma addition
overall, but
 it
also
Linking Words
 has some drawbacks too.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the young generation can gain a large number of invaluable and practical life skills by engaging these unpaid activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, young adults are able to obtain communication skills, organisational skills and how to collaborate with others from the process.
Thus
Linking Words
, they are better prepared for social life in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young people with
such
Linking Words
 experiences are more likely to become the most motivated ones in academic study or at
work
Use synonyms
, and eventually become responsible citizens of the society. As far as the community is concerned, it will definitely become better with so many zealous young volunteers who are ready to help.
However
Linking Words
, do not forget about
drawbacks
Suggestion
the drawbacks
.
for
Suggestion
For
 young people from less well-off families, their family may need their
work
Use synonyms
 paid, while volunteer
work
Use synonyms
 at communities may waste their time and make those families fall into the trouble. In the light of the aforementioned facts, it can be concluded that volunteering can bring many advantages to both society and young people. Not only it can help improve
communities’
Suggestion
community’s
 living
standards but
Accept comma addition
standards, but
also
Linking Words
 allows volunteers to develop necessary skills.
Submitted by sarah.gafurova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: