Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#today’s #schools #students #world

schools

students

learn to analyse literature, calculate using trigonometry and understand how photosynthesis works, but often

students

are inexperienced and helpless after graduation when encountering the real world. It is

therefore

argued that

schools

should teach their

students

how to survive financially in the world.

This

topic is difficult though. Many educators believe that a school is supposed to teach

students

Change preposition

apply

show examples

subjects that they will most probably not encounter again post-graduation

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so that teachers can develop open-minded and well-informed individuals. At the same time, it can be argued that

schools

should impart skills that would be applicable in everyday life. Mathematics,

for example

, is supposed to not only communicate actual mathematics skills

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apply

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but

also

teach logic to

students

However

schools

are supposed to prepare the youths for their lives following high school.

Currently

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Currently,

show examples

this

goal is not fully met, as

often

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apply

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students

are unable to handle their finances sensibly and

therefore

can often face significant problems.

Schools

that teach

students

how to survive financially could change

this

This

significant shift in the ideology of education is unlikely to take place soon, as the education system has been in place for too long to be easily changed.

Also

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Also,

show examples

a change of

this

scale would be costly, as teachers would have to be trained and a syllabus for

this

potential subject would have to be created.

However

, in some countries,

for example

Germany, a community subject is available in which politics and finances are discussed.

This

leaves

students

from Germany in a better situation to deal with finances in their lives. In conclusion, training school

students

in financial matters would be very useful. Adding new content to the syllabus would require a significant amount of money, but the entire community would benefit from

students

being better prepared for adult life.

Submitted by ahmedmamer94 on Tue Oct 15 2019

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Task Achievement

You have effectively addressed most parts of the task. However, you could provide clearer opinions and stronger argumentation to enrich your response; e.g., could you elaborate more on the potential benefits and drawbacks of this curriculum change on students' life?

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a very clear structure and good use of linking phrases. You've maintained a logical argument progression throughout the essay and your ideas are well-developed. There is a clear introduction and conclusion which enhances readability. Overall, keep up the good work.

Lexical Resource

You have demonstrated a wide range of vocabulary which effectively conveys your meaning. Make sure to avoid the repetition of certain words and phrases, and vary your language by using synonyms or rephrasing.

Grammatical Range

You have a good range of complex sentence structures and you've used them effectively. However, be cautious of minor errors and make sure to proofread your work for any slips in accuracy. Additionally, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more people want things instanly. Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development ?

Every year several Ianuages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates and some think that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?