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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?

#parents #children #consequences
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It is a fact that parents tend to provide their children with the things they demand and do what they want to.
This
Linking Words
 is a negative practice that leads to huge consequences when children enter
adulthood
Use synonyms
. There are two adverse impacts when children are overdependent on their parents.
Firstly
Linking Words
, overindulgence can indirectly cause childhood behavioural
disoders
a physical condition in which there is a disturbance of normal functioning
disorders
 in children. My nephew,
for example
Linking Words
, would become aggressive and smash everything if his mother does not buy
him
male possessive pronoun
his
 junk food.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a number of parents are not inclined to let their offspring do simple tasks because they think their children may ruin things or can not do
these
denotes a person or thing
this
.
As a result
Linking Words
, children gradually become sluggish and could not do
such
Linking Words
 tasks
such
Linking Words
 as cooking and doing housework, leading to challenges in their later life without parents.
This
Linking Words
 tendency could bring about a wide range of troubles when they reach
adulthood
Use synonyms
.
Overdependence
Suggestion
 on parents could result in a lack of effort in their career path.
For instance
Linking Words
, when encountering problems at work,
instead
Linking Words
 of trying every possible effort to solve issues, these people are inclined to give up or rely on the assistance of their colleagues.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, giving children the things they want may cause them to form detrimental spending habits in
adulthood
Use synonyms
. They do not learn the value of saving and the importance of money management.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they tend to waste money on luxury items and make unwise financial decisions, leading to a multitude of debts and related issues. In conclusion, overindulgence might have detrimental effects during children’s formative years and the consequences that
last
Linking Words
 until
adulthood
Use synonyms
, which should be thoroughly taken into account by parents.
Submitted by hoguom199 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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