Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art evrnts. Do you agree or disagree ?

#government #money #development #sport #art #school #students #support #sports #evrnts

this

contemporary era, government officials should use expenditure to motivate the advancement of sports and arts for the

school students

Accept comma addition

school, students

instead

of investing it in specialised events. I totally disagree with the laid statement because it brings reputation and funding to the native land.

To begin

with, professional events brings name and fame to the nation. By investing excess money in pro

evrnts

something that happens at a given place and time

events

then

players as well as artists will perform their best gameplay in international sporting events like

Olympics

Suggestion

the Olympics

, commonwealth games and many more.

Consequently

, a country can be regarded as an eminent nation.

Moreover

, specialised event gives confidence and motivates people to take part in various programs related to games and art. It is the prime duty of officials to spend money on

this

types

Suggestion

type

of activities. So, every citizen has more opportunities and stunning coaching.

As a result

, individuals have a chance to

develope

make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation

develop

their career in sports and

arts

Suggestion

the arts

. What is more, by arranging various events in the society it gives not only

colossal economy

Suggestion

colossal economies

but

also

employment rates.

Firstly

, if

such

programs are held in stadiums

then

audience

Suggestion

the audience

will come in enormous numbers to enjoy

event

Suggestion

the event

events

, and by

this

government can earn some funding.

Secondly

, construction of new stadiums as well as art galleries

give

Suggestion

gives

jobs to the youth of a nation.

However

, we cannot overshadow the other side too, it is obligatory that officials need to spend moderate expenditure. Due to

thus

, students can learn

this

tasks

Suggestion

task

to compete in school primary level. So,

this

are

Suggestion

the points which prove it is better to use money in professional level rather than for school students. In conclusion, it is interesting to say that pro events

contributes

Suggestion

contribute

to reputation, culture, and boost country's economy. Teenagers get employment by

this

evolution. So, by

this

ideas

Suggestion

idea

I totally disagree with the given statement.

Submitted by mihirptl.27 on Wed Oct 16 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Several people believe that, in the last decades, children have been involved in such games which aren't beneficial whereas, conventional games were far more efficient to improve children's ability in a variety types of skills. Nevertheless, as opposed to this group's perspective, I completely disagree with this statement due to technology. In this essay, both traditional and modern games will be elaborated.
5
band
Some people today prefevisit a doctor. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?r to get advice for medical problems and do not want to
Our current world is becoming more advanced than in earlier days and this is reflected in many sectors including healthcare. Unlike previous days we don't need to worry about medical attention and it's readily available to people. Therefore, people seek medical attention even for minor issues. But this can be either good or bad because, sometimes some issues don't need immediate attention and it can be cured by a simple solution at home.
6.5
band
The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Every country around the world gives importance for maintain and renovate their historical and old building.It is very important to keep and preserve such constructions for the younger generation.The history of a nation plays an important role in the formation of patriotism among young adults. It gives the young generation an insight into the struggle and hard work of their forefathers.Some people really think that spending more money on such buildings is unnecessary rather they suggest spending the money on infrastructure development.I strongly disagree with this statement and I believe that old buildings and construction should be preserved.
5
band
Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both of views and give your opinion.
In this day and age,there is a bunch of things people could do to get into shape. Most people,but not all,find useful training with some exercise to be healthy, however,others prefer to keep a balanced diet. In my eyes, the visible way may get exercise none other than to be healthier.
7.5
band
Nowadays there is an increase in social problem involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give specific reason and examples to support your answer.
Different types of problems created by society, as well as youth, are a crucial issue over the years. It is considered that these happen because of working parents who do not get enough time for their children. I partially agree with this statement and will add the main features behind the problem.

Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art evrnts. Do you agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people today prefevisit a doctor. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?r to get advice for medical problems and do not want to

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both of views and give your opinion.

Nowadays there is an increase in social problem involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give specific reason and examples to support your answer.