Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art evrnts. Do you agree or disagree ?

#government #money #development #sport #art #school #students #support #sports #evrnts

this

contemporary era, government officials should use expenditure to motivate the advancement of sports and arts for the

school students

Accept comma addition

school, students

instead

of investing it in specialised events. I totally disagree with the laid statement because it brings reputation and funding to the native land.

To begin

with, professional events brings name and fame to the nation. By investing excess money in pro

evrnts

something that happens at a given place and time

events

then

players as well as artists will perform their best gameplay in international sporting events like

Olympics

Suggestion

the Olympics

, commonwealth games and many more.

Consequently

, a country can be regarded as an eminent nation.

Moreover

, specialised event gives confidence and motivates people to take part in various programs related to games and art. It is the prime duty of officials to spend money on

this

types

Suggestion

type

of activities. So, every citizen has more opportunities and stunning coaching.

As a result

, individuals have a chance to

develope

make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation

develop

their career in sports and

arts

Suggestion

the arts

. What is more, by arranging various events in the society it gives not only

colossal economy

Suggestion

colossal economies

but

also

employment rates.

Firstly

, if

such

programs are held in stadiums

then

audience

Suggestion

the audience

will come in enormous numbers to enjoy

event

Suggestion

the event

events

, and by

this

government can earn some funding.

Secondly

, construction of new stadiums as well as art galleries

give

Suggestion

gives

jobs to the youth of a nation.

However

, we cannot overshadow the other side too, it is obligatory that officials need to spend moderate expenditure. Due to

thus

, students can learn

this

tasks

Suggestion

task

to compete in school primary level. So,

this

are

Suggestion

the points which prove it is better to use money in professional level rather than for school students. In conclusion, it is interesting to say that pro events

contributes

Suggestion

contribute

to reputation, culture, and boost country's economy. Teenagers get employment by

this

evolution. So, by

this

ideas

Suggestion

idea

I totally disagree with the given statement.

Submitted by mihirptl.27 on Wed Oct 16 2019

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for instance
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to illustrate
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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art evrnts. Do you agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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