IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Question: many people believe that zoos should be closed because it is cruel to keep animals locked up. Moreover, zoos do not have positive roles to play in society. Discuss

#people #zoos #animals #roles #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most people think Zoological centres should be
put-out
an out resulting from a fielding play (not a strikeout)
putout
 of service because it is hostile to cage-up animals, more so, these zoos have no beneficial impact on the society. In reality, it is morally wrong to put animals under confinement. Animals have their own rights as well as freedom to move about as long as they do not pose a threat to humans.
Therefore
, if humans cannot permit
such
 free movement,
then
, these animals should be left in the wild where they can roam freely. Rather than keep them in confinement for the amusement of humans.
For instance
, most zoos routinely permit their animals to bask in sunlight for a short period of time So, zoos should be closed because they deprive animals of roaming in the wild, which is known to be their natural environment.
Furthermore
, zoos do not offer any advantage to the society. In fact, it paints a picture that animals can be maltreated as long as they are in captivity.
Therefore
, people think it is generally acceptable to abuse animals.
This
 is one of the major reasons why humans engage in vile hobbies
such
 as game hunting, or setting two animals to fight each other, while they watch with pleasure. In essence, zoos should be
shut-down
termination of operations
shutdown
 as they have no potential benefits to the people. In conclusion, as much as zoos serve as a source of amusement to humans, it should be closed because it prevents animals from roaming in their natural environment, more so, it empowers people to abuse animals whether the domestic ones
or
a unit of surface area equal to 100 square meters
are
 the ones in the zoo or the one found in the wild.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: