The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
The table demonstrates total numeric statistics
while
charts represent the satisfaction proportions of the visitors
who came to see Ashdown museum
, in the year
before and after its renovation.
In tabular data, the number of visitors
increased from 74,000 in the former year
to 92,000 in the lateral year
. While
in charts
, the number of Correct article usage
the charts
visitors
who are very satisfied from
Change preposition
with
museum
went significantly high from 15 to 35 in the Correct article usage
the museum
year
after its redecorated. A similar raising trend of visitors
, from 30 to 40, is recorded for those who are satisfied with their visit to museum
. In contrary, for dissatisfied people and very satisfied people, Add an article
the museum
a museum
this
figure decelerate sharply from 40 to 15 and from 10 to 5 in the afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
year
respectively. Furthermore
, the number of visitors
who give no
response regarding their visit to Ashdown Correct your spelling
not
museum
remains constant in the
both years.
Remove the article
apply
Thus
, the visitors
feel more satisfied after the museum
was renovated as is shown by the output of the Survey.Submitted by mfarhan.taseer on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!