IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating / cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: give details of what went wrong explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time say what action you would like the manager to take

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to complain about the inadequate heating and cooling system during my recent stay at your hotel in London. I stayed at your hotel for three nights
last
Linking Words
 week, and unfortunately, the weather was unusually cold for that time of year.
However
Linking Words
, the heating system in my room was not working properly. Despite setting the thermostat to a higher temperature, the room remained extremely cold, particularly at night. I contacted the reception several times, but the problem was not resolved.
As a result
Linking Words
 , I had to wear several layers of clothing and use extra blankets to keep warm. I
also
Linking Words
 had to purchase a small portable heater from a nearby shop, which was an unnecessary expense and made my stay rather uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if you could investigate the problem with the heating system and ensure that it is properly maintained in all rooms. I
also
Linking Words
 believe that the hotel should consider reimbursing me for the cost of the portable heater or offering some compensation for the inconvenience caused. I look forward to hearing from you and hope that the appropriate action will be taken to prevent similar problems in the future. Yours faithfully, Meghana Ajith

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task response
You cover all three parts of the task. To get a higher score, add more clear facts, such as your room number, the dates, and how much the heater cost.
task response
Your request is clear. You could say exactly what you want, for example: 'Please pay me back for the heater and give me some money off my stay.'
coherence and cohesion
Your letter is easy to follow. Use a few more link words to show the order of events, such as 'First', 'Then', and 'Because of this'.
coherence and cohesion
The space before the comma in 'As a result ,' should be removed. Also remove the extra space in 'will be'.
task response
You clearly explain the problem, what you did, and what you want the hotel to do.
task response
The tone is polite and right for a letter to a hotel manager.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main point, so the letter is clear and well set out.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and closing are right: 'Dear Sir/Madam' and 'Yours faithfully'.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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