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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents think it is good to give their children mobile phones while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #phones
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It is undeniably true that mobile phones, lately, have been an indispensable part of human
lives
Suggestion
life
. Few demographics argue that it is fine to give
cell
Use synonyms
 phones to children while others opine that
this
Linking Words
 habit can invite grave repercussions. I personally believe, children should not be allowed to use
cell
Use synonyms
 phones for various reasons. These days, mobile phones are not just looked upon as the means of communication, as it
offerswide range
Suggestion
offers a wide range
offers wide range
 of other applications like games, social networking sites and so on. Children not only kill their spare time by playing games
in
Suggestion
on
cell
Use synonyms
phones but
Accept comma addition
phones, but
also
Linking Words
 learn to click pictures, make videos and indulge in other creative works.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, parents
also
Linking Words
 get free time while their kids are busy in mobile sets, and they could invest their time in some productive works. Having said that, I firmly believe giving mobile phones to children is completely preposterous. Usage of
cell
Use synonyms
 phones invites many physical hazards in children. Prolonged usage of
cell
Use synonyms
 phones
not
negation of a word or group of words
Not
 only hampers the
eyesight but
Accept comma addition
eyesight, but
also
Linking Words
 deteriorates the postures of kids, in a long run.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, addiction of mobile games tends to make children lazy as it does not require any physical movements. It decreases the enthusiasm to play in
grounds
Suggestion
the grounds
.
In addition
Linking Words
, while using phones children are completely occupied
as a result
Linking Words
, they do not need
physical presence
Suggestion
the physical presence
 of anyone.
This
Linking Words
 might result in being aloof from peers, from a very primitive age.
This
Linking Words
, in the long run, invites psychological disorders like depression, lack of social skills and so on. All in all, while some guardians assume it to be
good idea
Suggestion
a good idea
 to hand over mobile phones to kids, I
believe
Suggestion
Believe
 it does not do any good. The physical hazards like ill maintained postures, poor eyesight; psychological disorders like loneliness and depression are the results of using
cell
Use synonyms
 phones.
Thus
Linking Words
, giving
cell
Use synonyms
 phones to children should be discouraged to avoid catastrophic repercussions.
Submitted by sukirti.dhakal on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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