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Band 4.5

The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#phones #places
With the rapid increase in technological advancements, the mobile phones quickly become an integral part of our
lives
Suggestion
life
.
This
 dependence on mobile phones has impacted the behaviour of humans to
such
 an extent that an increasing number of people are calling for its usage to be regulated.
However
, there are still people who believe that
this
habbit
an established custom
habit
 will evolve naturally and no regulations need to be imposed by an external authority. The introduction of mobile phones has brought a revolutionary change by facilitating us in a number of ways. It has increased efficiency in the performance of day to day tasks by bringing features which used to require several gadgets and bringing all that functionality into a single device.
This
 has helped increase productivity and security to a great extent.
However
, on the flip side
this
 ease of use has resulted in over reliance on the device. By using it as the sole mode of entertainment, human beings are drifting away from direct social interactions, which has
result
Suggestion
resulted
 in a disconnect between a person and their social circle. While in the past kids used to play physical games which would be a healthy alternative to exercise, nowadays more and more kids have started to get addicted to playing games on their mobile phone. In light of the above, I conclude that
although
 the mobile phones have some inherent benefits, but its introduction
has started
Suggestion
is starting
starts
 to pose some serious threats for social interactions in the future. I would
therefore
 conclude that
although
 a ban similar to that of smoking would be a bit severe in
this
 case,
however I
Accept comma addition
however, I
 am of the view that a general social
ettitquete
rules governing socially acceptable behavior
etiquette
 with respect to the use of mobile phones should be determined and the same should become part of ethical education.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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