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Band 4.5

Some people believe that joining a gym is the best way to keep fit. Others believe that other activities are the best way to keep fit.

#people #gym #activities
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Fitness
 is a very important aspect of our life. To keep themselves fit some people believe that
gym
 is the best
way
. But others believe that
involment
the act of sharing in the activities of a group
involvement
 in other activities are
best
Suggestion
the best way
way
 to keep fit. In my opinion,
gym
 is the solution to keep
fit but
Accept comma addition
fit, but
 not the only one. Nowadays people are aware about their
fitness
. Some people joining a
gym
 to be fit and keep the
fitness
. Joining a
gym
 is
best
Suggestion
the best way
way
 to keep
fitness
Suggestion
fit
, because in
gym
 we get proper
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
guidence
something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
guidance
. Without proper
guidence
something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
guidance
 we can keep our
activities but
Accept comma addition
activities, but
 that may not be enough for
fitness
.
For example
, most of the famous body builders are associated with a
gym
 to build their body. So joining
gym
Suggestion
a gym
 can be a good
solutuion
a homogeneous mixture of two or more substances; frequently (but not necessarily) a liquid solution
solution
 to be fit. Some people
also
 believe that to keep fit other activities are the best
way
.
Yes it
Accept comma addition
Yes, it
 is the best
way
.
Today people
Accept comma addition
Today, people
 are busy with their work. They do not have enough time to allocate for a
gym
.
However
, they can keep their
fitness
 easily by 30 minutes of brisk walking. Some can use stairs as
an other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
activities
Suggestion
activity
. Various types of sports are
also
 a
substitue
a set whose members are members of another set; a set contained within another set
subset
 of
gym
Suggestion
the gym
. To conclude,
fitness
 is important for everybody. People may choose their paths as per
convenient
Suggestion
convenience
.
Gym
Suggestion
The gym
 is always a part of
fitnees but
Accept comma addition
fitness, but
fitness but
 there are many people who do not like to attend. They prefer various outdoor sports, walking in the park or
street
Suggestion
the street
 alongside to feel the city life. People should choose their path as per their needs and convenience.
Submitted by accjmc9 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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