IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many business in the world today are run by family members. Do the advantages of family-run business outweigh the disadvantages?

#business #world #members
We currently live in an era in which
abusiness
Suggestion
a business
 has become universal
.
Accept space
.
these
Suggestion
These
 days
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of companies
tends
Suggestion
tend
 to
union
Suggestion
unite
 with others.
Otherwise most
Accept comma addition
Otherwise, most
 of corporations development to international and
also
 open in different countries
.
Accept space
.
even
used as an intensive especially to indicate something unexpected
Even
 though many people would agree with management from private owner
.
Accept space
.
However
 the negative aspects should be pondered as well.
Firstly
, some people find the successful
business
 related to family management
.
Accept space
.
because
Suggestion
Because
 several reasons
.
Accept space
.
one
Suggestion
One
 of
that is
 common goals at work
.
Accept space
.
meanwile strange
Accept comma addition
Meanwhile, strange
Meanwhile strange
Meanwile strange
 persons could
interupt
make a break in
interrupt
interpret
 that aim.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
 dedication in their
business
 lead to a good result
.
Accept space
.
indeed
Suggestion
Indeed
 the trust in relation between family members
this
is keep
Suggestion
has kept
is kept
 of
enviroment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
 secure for
business
.
addition
Suggestion
Addition
 usually the relative relation to help
for
Suggestion
in
reduce
Suggestion
reducing
reduced
 misunderstanding between
business
 stuff
,
Accept space
,
moreover
 reduce the number of employees that
decreas
decrease in size, extent, or range
decrease
decreases
decrees
 the expenses
On the other hand
, some others argue
that is
 has a
drawbaks
the quality of being a hindrance
drawback
.
Accept space
.
one
Suggestion
One
 of that the
appoinments
the act of putting a person into a non-elective position
appointments
opponents
 depend on relationship
instead
 of
aqualified
Suggestion
a qualified
 and
also
 skills for
position
Suggestion
the position
.
Accept space
.
furthermore
in addition
Furthermore
, lack of competition in
business
is prevent
Suggestion
prevents
 to expand and
also
 development in a different fields
deu
owed and payable immediately or on demand
due
 to
the
Suggestion
The
 members in
business
 do not have enough experience
.
Accept space
.
for
Suggestion
For
 example the majority of hired in family companies depend on relatives bonds
instead
 of achievement for
this
 employee and productivity
in
Suggestion
at
 work.
To
Suggestion
In
 conclusion, it is evident that
family
Suggestion
a family business
family businesses
business
 can be beneficial in short time
,
Accept space
,
limited result as well.
but
Suggestion
But
 the
business
consider
Suggestion
considers
 should be
continuous
Suggestion
continued
 in
future
Suggestion
the future
besides
 grow up.I think the disadvantages outweigh the benefits in many
aspect
Suggestion
aspects
 in
this
 measure when see both
side
Suggestion
sides
.
Submitted by shakerrabah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trust and loyalty
  • long-term interest
  • benefit future generations
  • efficiency and flexibility
  • common goals
  • reduced costs
  • personal conflicts
  • decision-making paralysis
  • operational challenges
  • lack of professionalism
  • necessary skills
  • succession problems
  • transitioning leadership
  • power struggles
  • disagreements
  • sustainability
  • limited network
  • professional network
  • growth opportunities
  • non-family-run businesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: