IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster . Do you agree

#people #nationalities #backgrounds #country
There is a believe that bringing together people from different countries and cultural backgrounds can accelerate the advancement of a country. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
 idea considering a general setting, having two or more people coming together with different views and skills will help achieve a better result, I will
further
 support my view with some points.
Firstly
, taking the case of Nigeria in 1960, the nation was
initially
 in the dark in education and
development
, but the presence of the British and other foreign countries helped us to develop fast
er especially in
Accept comma addition
faster, especially
trade exchange, there are still places in Africa with no access to formal education and
this
 is a priority for national growth to occur, having multinationals from deve
loped nat
Suggestion
developing
ions will help the nation to grow.
Furthermore
, most schools in Nigeria
for exam
ple were bui
Accept comma addition
example, were
lt by foreigners, the university of ibad
an, ol
a large Yoruba city in southwestern Nigeria; site of a university
Ibadan
dest institution in Nigeria was built by the British government.
Secondly
, cultural exchange helps in the
development
 of a country. It limits the barriers of communication between countries which can help
such
 country to get support from more developed countries.
For example
, Commonwealth African nations like Ghana saw a great spike in
development
 and still benefitting immensely from the British government because of the mutual understanding existing between the countries, another example is the increasing investment of Chinese government in Nigeria due to
this
 interaction. In conclusion, the benefits African countries have derived from the foreign countries are all obvious for all to see,
therefore
, having people from different cultural background will
further
 accelerate
development
 and should be encouraged.
Submitted by oladeleayomidegab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: