IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate only locally produced food. What extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumer #people #environment #economy
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many
country
Suggestion
countries
 rely on the international
food
Use synonyms
 market to feed their citizens. Though
this
Linking Words
 is mostly
have
Suggestion
having
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on
local farm
Suggestion
local farms
a local farm
the local farm
 and the
environmental
Suggestion
environment
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some positive aspect that will be considered.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, purchasing
food
Use synonyms
 from local farms has many
advatiages
the quality of having a superior or more favorable position
advantages
,
Firstly
Linking Words
, local grown fruits and vegetables have more nutritional value
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 the exported
food
Use synonyms
. As it more fresh and healthy. Another argument is that
this
Linking Words
 process will enhance the local economy and
also
Linking Words
, provide more job
opportuities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 for local citizen to work on their farms.
Therefore
Linking Words
, depending on local resources will
returen
go or come back to place, condition, or activity where one has been before
return
retrain
retiring
 with benefits
on
Suggestion
to
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
economically
Suggestion
economists
 and individuals.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that the disadvantages are more
pursuasive
intended or having the power to induce action or belief
persuasive
passive
possessive
 than advantage for two main reasons. Relying on
exported
Suggestion
exports
food
Use synonyms
, which cross the overseas to reach to consumers will need
burning
Suggestion
to burn
huge amount
Suggestion
huge amounts
a huge amount
 of fuel.
This
Linking Words
 causes
damege
the occurrence of a change for the worse
damage
 to the environment as it will put more CO2 into the
atmospher
a particular environment or surrounding influence
atmosphere
, which will
acselerate
move faster
accelerate
 the global warming.
Also
Linking Words
, these
type
Suggestion
types
 of
food
Use synonyms
 need chemical to be preserved and reach the long distance, which could be unhealthy if it uses for
long period
Suggestion
long periods
a long period
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, despite that
this
Linking Words
 trend will enhance the global
trad
the commercial exchange (buying and selling on domestic or international markets) of goods and services
trade
 for only produced
food
Use synonyms
's countries, it will affect
local economy
Suggestion
the local economy
local economies
 negatively and decrease the number of jobs in local farms. In conclusion, in spite of the positive aspect of buying
food
Use synonyms
 from
global
Suggestion
the global food market
food
Use synonyms
 market,
this
Linking Words
 will affect local farms producing
rate
not widely known; especially valued for its uncommonness
rare
 and will
damege
the occurrence of a change for the worse
damage
 the environment as it will need more fuels.
Submitted by mediyprint on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: