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Writing Samples
Band 5

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #children #communities #access #education #people #schools #teachers #computers #internet
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Children in remote areas of developing country are not receiving sufficient
education
Use synonyms
 so that some people think that building more learning spaces and having more teachers can address the issue.
In contrast
Linking Words
, others argue that
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 and computer would be a solution. I personally agree with the
first
Linking Words
 idea because of several reasons. Having
computer
Suggestion
a computer
computers
 and
internet
Use synonyms
 are great tools to access to an endless
education
Use synonyms
 source. Online courses on the
internet
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 have a wide range of level, which students can easily find a suitable program to study gradually. Youngsters
then
Linking Words
 have a freedom of choice to select courses they desire to learn whenever and wherever they want while
Use synonyms
school
Suggestion
schools
the school
 and teachers are
opened
Suggestion
open
 and available
in
Suggestion
at
 a certain time of the day and during
school
Use synonyms
 semesters only.
However
Linking Words
, online source is an opened archive where people can upload any kind of information included unreliable ones. While young individuals do not have sufficient skills to sift information and have free access to the
internet
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 might result in a low quality of self-
education
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, teachers and schools bring a variety of positive impacts on children in mountainous areas. Going to
school
Use synonyms
, offsprings
are provided
Suggestion
provide
 a friendly environment and motivation from peers and teachers to learn not only academic
knowledge but
Accept comma addition
knowledge, but
also
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 life skills
such
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 as
team work
cooperative work done by a team (especially when it is effective)
teamwork
 and public speaking.
Furthermore
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, teachers teach standard
school
Use synonyms
 syllable, monitor and assess students’ performance on a weekly or semester
basic
a relation that provides the foundation for something
basis
.
Thus
Linking Words
, young people can be developed both mentally and physically when they are in
school
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 offering a tool to access to the
internet
Use synonyms
 is
as
indefinite article, "an" is use before a vowel sound, "a" otherwise
a
 great solution to improve the accessibility to
education
Use synonyms
 of remote children, I think it is still better to have more physical
education
Use synonyms
 places and teachers for students to get
Use synonyms
education
Suggestion
an education
.
Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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